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Friday, May 4, 2012

FormForAll: Clarion Sonnet • skinning genes


Being And Seeker by Elena Ray



skinning genes

Watching this happen to you from afar
is not just distressing but right on par

with not watching me when it happened here.
Caused by stress you might say but I do fear

that, like our height and our brown hair, these screams
pulsing inside us came straight from our genes.

You can choose, of course, to just let it ride
but depression can't be taken in stride--

nor the despair of the weakening soul
that searches for the elusive loophole,

nor the task of the body to survive
the booze and the pills flying this nosedive.

Come back to yourself, sweet being of Light,
before you succumb to your last midnight.

                                                            MLydiaM ~ May 2012


Written for dVerse Poets Pub FormForAll, where Samuel Peralta's (aka Semaphore1) stimulating prompt inspires us to compose a Clarion Sonnet  (please click link for description and information, along with links to other Clarion Sonnets----and certainly do not miss the one written by Semaphore himself).

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15 comments:

  1. I see in her my own hurt...I want to rescue her. I want her to rescue me.

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  2. beautiful. particularly the first few lines - they really resonated with me. thanks.

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  3. i know it isn't but this painting looks like christina....

    i enjoy your poetry so much, lydia. sometimes it carries me so far i don't know who wrote it until i see your name underneath it all.

    depression is so misunderstood. you've done a good job here.

    love
    kj

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  4. Depression is such a tough state for some people despite the pills and counselling. I hear you ~

    Nice poetry form ~

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  5. What a powerful and terrifying scene this is, watching someone's destruction and fearing that there may be an inevitability to it all because of one's essence, one's genes. And the terror is all the more palpable because it is a deja vu, a re-experienced self-destruction whose pain is familiarly personal.

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  6. oy this is haunting a bit to the depths we will sink in that depression an trying to dig our way out or just giving in...have seen this played out myself...really well done on the form as well lydia...tight...

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  7. mythopolis~ Your comments, so deep, so moving...

    Amber Lee~ I appreciate your comments. I appreciate you!

    kj~ Does look like Christina!
    Thank you so much for your comments. I didn't know whether or not to use the word "depression," as I had originally written "addiction." To me they are interchangeable, but that may not be true for others...

    Heaven~ Exactly. And in some cases the pills only exacerbate the condition.
    I agree that it's a nice poetry form; I really enjoyed working with it.

    Semaphore~ Thank you, Sam. You really get this poem....me.....everything, it seems.

    Brian~ Thanks, and the comment above to Sam fits for you as well. Must be what makes you both such great poets, that capacity to "get" just about everything!

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  8. dang...that's a touching piece...depression is a hard topic to deal with.. knew someone whose mother suffered from it and in his teenage years he had the same symptoms...hard to escape and seductive to "fight" it with alcohol or drugs which is a fight we have no chance to win... he found his way out in the end...a great write lydia

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  9. You've made the mechanics of the form itself really ring home the cyclic and inevitable feel of the underlying fear here, that the monster is outside but also inside, that the fix is as bad as the problem(something I've seen first hand) and that hope can be found no matter what--nothing has to be inevitable when we are 'beings of light.' Excellent piece, Lydia.

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  10. Claudia~ Thank you for your sensitive comment. I'm so glad that your friend conquered it--would seem he lived a good life for both himself and his mother.

    hedgweitch~ How I do love your critiques and comments. You should be teaching/mentoring; in any case, I am so grateful for your feedback.
    That the "fix is as bad as the problem" is indeed the root of this poem. Thank you.

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  11. That is a very sad place to be in and to see happening.But, it's beautiful written. thank you

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  12. Very moving, and I particularly love the final couplet.

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  13. I'm sorry I missed this when you first pisted it at dVersePoets. This has the ring of authenticity and sad truth. You've crafted a wonderful poem into the form, making both the picture come alive in a deeper dimension but also allowed us into a larger world where we can all share pain and brokenness.

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  14. This is sad! But written beautifully! Like the term "Sweet being of light" ♥ Aunt! Hope to visit frequently!

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  15. Quotes,P&littleP~ Thank you for your comment. I'm catching up with replies and reading at other blogs.... :)

    Rosemary~ Thank you.

    Charles~ It's quite alright that you missed it...I just appreciate your stopping by, reading, and leaving such kind comments. I'm behind on returning visits, sorry.

    Riyadh~ Thank you for being here and I hope you really do visit more often. Likewise, I want to spend more time at your blog. Miss you on facebook, however!

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