Showing posts with label despair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label despair. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A denizen of another room . . .



A denizen of another room was my mother's sister Minnie, a frowze with a loose mouth and hair like dyed straw, our "good-hearted slob", always ready to give any of us the shirt off her back and to excoriate whoever declined it. Long ago married to a soldier, and widowed by the Spanish-American War, Minnie had moved back into the flat with her small boy, to leave him in the old lady's hands while she went out working as a waitress; one evening she came home to find the boy was dead, he had fallen into the cellarway and opened his skull. For years afterward when Mary Dore was watching the night, elbowed on her cushion and half out the window high above the streetlamps, it was for Minnie's homeward lurching as much as Ben's, and indeed a night came when Minnie, drunk in the street with another waitress, saw her sidekick hit and killed by a trolley car. With Minnie in and disrobing her fortyish charms, the stubby old mother would shuffle around in her nightgown and shawl grumbling--fine hour of night to be out, fine thing not knowing where a daughter was or who with or doing what, fine condition to come home in too--until Minnie would say, "Shove it up your ass, Ma," and topple into bed.
-from A MASS FOR THE DEAD, by William Gibson






painting by Trevor Stubley 


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Friday, May 23, 2008

Thoughts in a Bottle on the Ocean



I have a friend who needs support right now who is far away, in real distance and, I fear, from hope.

You know it is you. Swim into this poem and return to your life refreshed.

-Lydia



This is a moment when we all might pause to pray for, and offer meditations on behalf of, those who need our love and concern right now. I am specifically thinking about my friend, my older brother who had heart surgery in Duluth this week, and the cold young bird that snuggled in our window feeder last night at dusk.



Darkness
by Kirsti A. Dyer


My light and my life
provided me hope for a future,
a reason to live
and the strength to exist.

Suddenly extinguished,
taken away without warning.
I was abandoned,
left in the darkness
trying to survive
searching for any glimmer
on the distant horizon.

I stand precariously
on a piece of solid ground
barely large enough for my feet.
Around me, a vast expanse
of desolation and emptiness
for as far as I can tell.

It waits
with extending arms
to engulf and surround me
in a permanent shadow.

I remain tenuously balanced
on this small bit of solid footing
Providing me the last vestiges of hope,
Unsure where to turn
or how to find an escape.

No path in sight,
it has decayed into the abyss.
No light to guide my footsteps,
it has been withdrawn.

In complete blackness
I close my eyes
waiting to fall.

A light appears before me
no,
from within me.

I discover
a brilliance inside
An internal source of strength, power
and illumination.

This force surges through my body
filling me with courage.
I open my eyes once more in the darkness
finally lose my balance,
and descend
into the eternal night.

But in falling, I discover
that I possess wings.

With new courage, my own light,
and wings to save me
from the everlasting darkness
I take flight
high above the waiting chasm
towards a faint glimmer
far on the horizon
and hope.

-- Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS
Journey of Hearts, Domain Designer/Creator

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