Showing posts with label family portrait early 1900s. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family portrait early 1900s. Show all posts

Monday, August 1, 2011

To remember and walk on again.....



In A Motel Parking Lot, Thinking Of  Dr. Williams 
                 --by Wendell Berry

I.

The poem is important, but
not more than the people
whose survival it serves,

one of the necessities, so they may
speak what is true, and have
the patience for beauty: the weighted

grainfield, the shady street,
the well-laid stone and the changing tree
whose branches spread above.

For want of songs and stories
they have dug away the soil,
paved over what is left,

set up their perfunctory walls
in tribute to no god,
for the love of no man or woman,

so that the good that was here
cannot be called back
except by long waiting, by great

sorrows remembered and to come
by invoking the thunderstones
of the world, and the vivid air.

II.

The poem is important,
as the want of it
proves. It is the stewardship

of its own possibility,
the past remembering itself
in the presence of

the present, the power learned
and handed down to see
what is present

and what is not: the pavement
laid down and walked over
regardlessly--by exiles, here

only because they are passing.
Oh, remember the oaks that were
here, the leaves, purple and brown,

falling, the nuthatches walking
headfirst down the trunks,
crying "onc! onc!" in the brightness

as they are doing now
in the cemetery across the street
where the past and the dead

keep each other. To remember,
to hear and remember, is to stop
and walk on again

to a livelier, surer measure.
It is dangerous
to remember the past only

for its own sake, dangerous
to deliver a message
you did not get.



I have pondered this poem long and long since reading it over the weekend. I love it too much to weave my own impressions into it. It must stand alone, this poem, like the past it describes. It made me think of a special photo from that past, the one above.

The photo shows my grandparents' beloved home at 17th and Topping in Kansas City, Missouri. My grandmother, Nellie, is the woman standing in the group of three -- there in the middle -- directly behind the woman seated. My young uncles, Jim and Marshall, are standing on the porch. Their baby sister, my mother, would be born some years later after the family had moved to Berkeley, California. 

Have you done this, GoogleMap former residences belonging to your family long before you were born? It fascinates me. Here is a screenprint of 17th and Topping as it looks today. The driving view shows an older neighborhood with someone walking on the sidewalk but even the older homes existing there now are newer than my grandparents' house, which is long gone, and the walker captured by Google has no idea the house or my grandparents ever existed. I do not know on which corner their home and acres of property were situated. I like to think that some of the trees are offshoots of those my uncles climbed back in the early 1900s....



To hear a portion of my Uncle Jim's recorded memories of his boyhood at 17th & Topping, click memories lit the corners of Jim's mind: the old home and a horse named Teddie.

But, as Wendell Berry's poignant poem cautions, we must be with the past for only a moment to hear and remember . . . to stop and walk on again to a livelier, surer measure. Now, if only I could believe that today will be that it would seem easier to leave this moment..... 

.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

the youngest child



When I read the tender and nearly mystical post about her daughter, Lola, the youngest in their family, written by Maggie May (whose writing takes my breath away with its heart-wrenching, lusty, earthy, soulful expressions of love, loss, and more love) I thought of what my mother meant to her family once upon a time.

She was Margaret, there in the first photo sitting on her brother Marshall's tummy, circa 1916. The tiny 1-1/2"x2" photo wasn't preserved well, which indicates to me that it either was not a favorite of her mother's, the protector of photos and all memorabilia, or that it was so well loved by someone in the family that it was kept out, or maybe treasured in a wallet and shown often. No matter the wear.....the love still shines through.

There she is with the whole family in their only formal family portrait. The boys: Jim, the eldest, Marshall, the middle brother, and Richard, the youngest must have been told to be on their best behavior for the photograph and little Margaret would follow their lead, always, because she idolized them. She is what, maybe three years old, in this portrait? That would give Richard and her -- so close they were -- only seven more years together before he was killed in an auto accident in his junior year of high school. His death devastated that strong, loving family and it informed the way Margaret loved the men, including four husbands, in her future: grasping, testing, wanting, rejecting.

But before the sadness and challenges to come there were these and many more moments of contentment and grace.

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