Kindling

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
-- Albert Schweitzer

My fire isn't burning very brightly the last few days. I'm simply sad.

On Saturday Mike kept checking in with me, literally. He'd look right into my eyes and say he was checking in to see how I was. Not so good right now, sad. He had read my last post early in the morning while I was still sleeping and he asked if I was feeling the effects of that. Sure, reading umpteen reports online about Bush's last stand against the environment did get to me. The nine-year-old twins across the street brought over the three kittens that they've been enchanted with since discovering them with the mother cat under a house. The mother had been left behind when some people down the block moved a few months ago, and the twins' mom said they can keep her and one of the kittens. Mike and I have volunteered to have "Annie" spayed before she can deliver another litter of perfect fluffy kittens into a world that doesn't want them. After they left Mike asked me if I was down because I didn't take one of the kittens. No, I'm being strong about it. We're caring for two large dogs, two indoors cats, three garage cats, and I'm now feeding three strays in the backyard wildlife area each night. But kissing the kittens goodbye made my heart ache.

Then seeing the house next door all lit up with holiday lights Saturday night made my heart ache again, but in a different way. I need that brightness now.....earlier than ever and it doesn't seem commercial or crazy to me in the slightest. I was grateful to them for doing that, for being the first to make a statement......saying what? Who knows exactly why they decorated before Thanksgiving (tastefully, I might add) from the peak of the roof to the pillars near the steps.

I called too late for us to get reservations at the lodge where we so enjoyed Thanksgiving Dinner last year. The woman I spoke with said that 700 people called ahead of me and there was absolutely no more room. I got resos around this same time last year so who knows what happened to stir up such a crowd. She advised me to call next year the second week in October. Mike and I haven't had Thanksgiving Dinner with his folks (40 miles away) for six years. Long story. His mother is trying to repair the rift and sent a card that we received in the mail on Saturday. Mike asked if I was upset by her card. No, it's cute. But we don't belong among them and if it's ever the right thing to do we'll know when that time comes. So after failing with the reservations I went to the store and bought the smallest turkey I could find. I was going to roast one over the coming weekend but now I'll do it on Thanksgiving Day. The dogs will have a great Thanksgiving, most definitely.

I know that this is temporary. Real, but temporary. I know that when the slump has passed I'll be thankful to everyone who helped rekindle my spirit. My helpers today were my husband, the twins, three yummy kittens, and the next-door neighbors whose light was precious in the night.

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