Image by Sarolta Bán
Substance and sum
In worn clothes from his former life
he looked like a nouveau street bum.
The poster looked like his ex-wife.
In worn clothes from his former life
he recalled their love and their strife--
then gulped three swigs of cheap rum.
In worn clothes from his former life
he looked like a nouveau street bum.
MLydiaM ~ March 2012
- Visit The Mag to read other Mag 107s inspired by the photo prompt above.
- Visit dVerse Poets Pub FormForAll, where Samuel Peralta's beautiful prompt inspires us to compose a Triolet (please click link for description and information, along with links to other Triolets).
- Visit Mr. KnowItAll, the G-Man, for links to more weekly FF55s (works of fiction in 55 words).
20 comments:
Such an ambitious composition, playing to not two but three prompts! And so successful, bringing a narrative quality into your triolet, but making excellent use of the refrain. Bravo!
lydia you killed it...nice storytelling, still creates a nice rhythm and cadence...very well done
Semaphore~ I am grateful for your inspiring prompt on triolets at dVerse, and am truly honored by your comments about my offering. I love the Poets Pub more than I can say for the richness it gives to my life, and working on my post in the wee hours of the morning was a great experience for me. Thank you!
Brian~ I did? Wow, for you to say that is really a thrill. Thank you so much!
You've perfectly captured the essence of that Mag image that stumped me. And I love the repetition. Seeing a lot of that this week. It works.
The meat of your verse:
The poster looked like his ex-wife.
In worn clothes from his former life.
Excellent!
Lydia...
You do a pretty good job of condensing yourself!
Great job on all the prompts.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
It's hard to story tell in 55 but to do this well at getting the riches to rag story across in elegant form is superlative. Well done.
oh goodness..running into the ex-wife's "oversized" image..very cool capture
Love the triolet! Good take on the picture too!
Fun, fun, well done! very neat-
thanks.
Way to triolet, Lydia. This has a little noirish quality I like, along with the threadbare bum/bummer aspect that I think embodies the man in the picture well. Excellent refrain lines.
A nouveau street bum. Yes, there are a lot of them these days, what with the economy and all. Single, tattered, trying to make sense of a seemingly-senseless world.
And you have captured his essence, so beautifully, in your demi-political commentary.
Bravo, Lydia.
Very beautifully described and lyrical too.
Yvonne~ Hello and thank you for your comments. I was stumped by The Mag prompt image also. It was not until I read the prompt at dVerse that something clicked.
G-Man~ Ha! We all condense ourselves for your Friday Flash 55s!
Beachanny~ Wow, I thought your comment was elegant. Thank you.
Claudia~ Thanks. Yes, wouldn't that just be most exes biggest nightmare!
Other Mary~ Thanks much for your comment.
izzy~ Thanks for your fun comment!
hedgewitch~ Thank you so much for your wonderful commentary on my triolet. I learn consistently from you...
Rob-bear~ Your descriptors of my poem are truly humbling (but still exciting) for me. I truly appreciate them.
susan~ Thanks much; I did like the lyrical quality of the triolet and may try more of them.
This is a very good poem, sad...
Wander
lol, Ok I'm following you now too. Great minds, eh? ;-)
nouveau street bum indeed!
Wander~ Poem iss sad, but your comment made me smile. :)
Other Mary~ Oh, definitely...and thank you!
Kathe~ Indeed! (You may have seen a few of them on the streets of Portland before you moved away!)
This is very interesting. And thanks for stopping by Portland Oregon Daily Photo.
hello lydia!
you inspire me.
you paint these pictures with an economy of words. but what i am most inspired by is your participation in these prompts because all i manage to do is make up my own.
good going girlfriend
xo
kj
Lynette~ I appreciate your comment, and it was my pleasure to stop by!
kj~ Thank you...but
the thing is: if you work on prompts it leaves little time for independent posts. I rarely have any independent posts outside of prompts except Old Postcard Wednesday. That's just the way it goes! Not enough time, nope, there never is.
xo
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