It is my month of contemplation, the one where everything that gets done gets done inside of me. Octobers have passed me through the looking glass of remembrance for some years now. During the course of this October I will mark, on different days, my 25th year of sobriety and also the tenth year since my mother's death. I have decided to let spill out what will spill, in the sense of posting things that in some way signify aspects/realities/feelings/memories of one or both events for me personally.
Both are represented in the song below. My mother always said she wanted her grave marker to say simply, She Lived. Then she decided she wanted to be cremated and have her ashes scattered in the ocean. My husband and I did the scattering from a whale-watching boat and afterward we tossed in a beautiful large wreath my sister ordered with a ribbon entwined in it that read: She lived. We watched it bob and dip until it was out of sight, the sole and fleeting splash of color on a slate gray, stormy November sea.
And I have, in a sense, lived two lives: the one prior to and the one now in sobriety. I have a few regrets regarding the former and much gratitude for the latter.
Pleasures of the Harbor, sung by Glenn Yarborough (whose voice is musical poetry)
Pleasures of the Harbor ~ by Phil Ochs
(full lyrics -- not all sung in the Yarborough version above)
And the ship sets the sail
They've lived the tale
To carry to the shore
Straining at the oars
Or staring from the rail
And the sea bids farewell
She waves in swells
And sends them on their way
Time has been her pay
And time will have to tell
Oh, soon your
Sailing will be over
Come and take
The pleasures of the harbor
And the anchor hits the sand
The hungry hands
Have tied them to the port
The hour will be short
For leisure on the land
And the girls scent the air
They seem so fair
With paint on their face
Soft is their embrace
To lead them up the stairs
Soon your
Sailing will be over
Come and take
The pleasures of the harbor
In the room dark and dim
Touch of skin
He asks her of her name
She answers with no shame
And not a sense of sin
'Til the fingers draw the blinds
Sip of wine
The cigarette of doubt
The candle is blown out
The darkness is so kind
Oh, soon your
Sailing will be over
Come and take
The pleasures of the harbor
And the shadows frame the light
Same old sight
Thrill has blown away
Now all alone they lay
Two strangers in the night
Till his heart skips a beat
He's on his feet
To shipmates he must join
She's counting up the coins
He's swallowed by the street
Oh, soon your
Sailing will be over
Come and take
The pleasures of the harbor
In the bar hangs a cloud
The whiskey's loud
There's laughter in their eyes
The lonely in disguise
Are clinging to the crowd
And the bottle fills the glass
The haze is fast
He's trembling for the taste
Of passion gone to waste
In memories of the past
Oh, soon your
Sailing will be over
Come and take
The pleasures of the harbor
In the alley, red with rain
Cry of pain
For love was but a smile
Teasing all the while
Now dancing down the drain
'Til the boys reach the dock
They gently mock
And lift him on their backs
Lay him on his rack
And leave beneath the light
Oh, soon your
Sailing will be over
Come and take
The pleasures of the harbor
And the ship sets the sail
They've lived the tale
To carry from the shore
Straining at the oars
Or staring from the rail
And the sea bids farewell
She waves in swells
And sends them on their way
Time has been her pay
And time will have to tell
Oh, soon your
Sailing will be over
Come and take
The pleasures of the harbor
.
