Old Postcard Wednesday--Bridal Veil Falls, Columbia River Gorge, Oregon

Beautiful Bridal Veil Falls is an elegant and graceful lady that can be fully appreciated from the deck of a viewing platform rebuilt in 1996. The creek hustles down from the top of nearby Larch Mountain, tumbles over the cliff and eventually flows into the mighty Columbia River. No visit to the Columbia Gorge should be considered complete without a tour of the area of Bridal Veil and a visit to Bridal Veil Falls State Park.

     ~ excerpt from Bridal Veil Falls State Scenic Viewpoint, where you can find out about the hiking trails at the falls

Today is our 15th wedding anniversary. Since it landed on Old Postcard Wednesday I wondered if I might possibly have a postcard that would be in any way fitting for the occasion. Thanks to my grandmother I do.....

..... I do. Those are the simple words, with some variations, common in the marriage ceremony that I have promised to two men, and they to me. At neither ceremony was I wearing a bridal veil, or even white for that matter. The first time I was in a hippie gown of dusty rose. Twenty years later I wore a soft city dress in shades of teal. This is a shot Michael took of me at The Cloisters in upper Manhattan after our civil ceremony downtown.

We were about to embark on a first year of marriage that was more difficult than I could ever have imagined being possible. With my mother's pitiful track record of four marriages set before me and my own apathy for the institution in general I still find it remarkable that I didn't throw in the towel. My mother, the woman who could not keep a marriage herself, proved to be a stalwart friend and non-judgmental support for each of us in the face of extreme trials during those twelve months. She had the street smart credentials, and another woman, a psychotherapist suggested by our family doctor, had the professional credentials that combined to pull us through the muck.

First year muck long behind us, Michael views 15 years as half-way to 30 years. I hear him say that and think wow...how? One day at a time, I do realize that. But right now contemplating 15 is a full experience for me and important enough to warrant its own day in the sun before looking into the future.

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About = The Cloisters Museum & Gardens
My post last year = 14th wedding anniversary.....Ta-da* 


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14th wedding anniversary.....Ta-Da*

A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.

- Rainer Maria Rilke

Fourteen years ago today Michael and I were married in New York City. We spent a week in New York and then returned to Steens Mountain in Oregon for the second week of our honeymoon, adding a few impromptu days in Reno before heading home to what was to be, quite honestly, a trying first year of marriage. Not because of us, but due to outside forces that came from left field and that we were then emotionally ill-equipped to deal with. But we really fought for our marriage during those strenuously heart-wrenching and venomous months, even consulting my longtime family doctor who referred us on to a wonderful psychologist.

We met with Paula, the psychologist, separately at first, then pulled it all back together in joint sessions for about six weeks. Mike had the first session with her, since we were primarily coping with people and events originating from his family and employment situation. (I'll add here: thank God for my mother and the support she gave to us that year.) When my turn came to meet with Paula the first words she spoke to me were: Do you realize how much he loves you?

I do. Those were the words I said during the short civil ceremony inside New York's Municipal Building 14 years ago. They were also the words I used to answer Paula's question some months later.

I do know that Mike loves me because he understands my need for solitude, which is greater than his own. When I first shared the above Rilke quote with him it went against how he'd been raised to think of marriage, but he gets it now. I appreciate that he is not only the guardian of my solitude, but as the years have gone by he has begun thanking me for being the guardian of his solitude. Of course that is only one aspect of our marriage, albeit a treasured one. I've isolated it for this post because it's what surfaced as I considered what I might write about for this anniversary to accompany these photos from our honeymoon.

Here we are at Kiger Gorge and Honeymoon Lake on a windy but beautiful September day on Steens Mountain, elevation 9700'. I'd vacationed alone at Steens in years before meeting Mike - and Honeymoon Lake had always been bone dry. That it was sparkling with bitter-cold clear water was simply astonishing to me, and we took it as a good omen that we'd be ok when we returned to the real world of shit, systems, and strife. Believe in omens? I do.

*Ta-Da
Of Turkish-Italian Origin. Phrase created to express a timeless, synchronistic love; written in stone and greater than love in any form. Soulmate.
You will always be my "Ta-Da" or Finding "Ta-Da" transcends all rituals and conclusions. It is an unending, complex, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-via Urban Dictionary

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