Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I receive an ICM from my mother the night after Mother's Day

flame by Lisa KC
flame by Lisa KC

    A counted number of pulses only is given to us of a variegated aromatic life. How may we see in them all that is to be seen in them by the finest senses? How can we pass most swiftly from point to point and be present always at the focus where the greatest number of vital forces unite in their purest energy?
    To burn always with this hard gem-like flame, to maintain this ecstasy, is success in life.
~Walter Pater* (1839-1894)

After Michael had gone to bed Monday night I fell sound asleep while watching TV with Feather and Willow stretched out in my lap, the three of us there in the recliner that was once my mother's recliner, the one I was sleeping on beside her bed the morning that she died.

A gentle stroke drew across my right cheekbone up to my temple hairline to waken me. Drowsy and dazed from being out cold, with the local news jabbering in front of me, I knew that I had just been touched so lovingly. In seconds I began to discount it, then a wash of comfort reclaimed the moment and I figured it must have been my mother's touch.

I later selected from my bookshelf a vintage book (so old there is no copyright date - only noted as DONOHUE, HENNEBERRY & CO., 407-425 DEARBORN STREET, CHICAGO) that belonged to my mother's mother. From the pages of The Pleasures of Life, by Sir John Lubbock, Bart., M.P., the above quote demanded my attention.

Chalk up the happenings of the last few hours as being among those ICMs (Ironies and Cosmic Messages) I have written about receiving in the past. They come unbidden, and almost always when I am most in need of compassion.

*Several online sources, including this one, indicate a one-word difference in the first sentence of the quote. They say, ". . . variegated, dramatic life" instead of  " . . . "variegated, aromatic life."  I chose to use exactly what was in front of me in the pages of the book cited.



Julie Magers Soulen said...

I am sorry to hear of your mother's passing. What a sweet experience with her spirit. I loved reading this post and the quote is powerful and true. Thanks for sharing.

Julie Magers Soulen Photography

La Belette Rouge said...

I love your acronym of ICM. I at first thought you were saying you received an Instant Message from her--but in a sense you were. It is so lovely that you continue to feel her presence in your life. A touch of compassion is a beautiful gift.

Looking to the Stars said...

I believe strongly that our departed loved ones can reach out and soothe us. I too, have had this happen to me since I was 3, for me it is my father. How I miss him and in my darkest hours, his presence has been there. Glad your mother gave you comfort.

I love the pic and the writing :)

Have a good day, kiddo!

Friko said...

Lydia, I have never heard he phrase ICM before but I certainly know what you are saying.
A charming post, I hope you will receive all the compassion you need.

btw. I have been having some problems posting this comment.

Lydia said...

Julie~ She passed in 2000 but of course Mother's Day weekend is one of deeper thought about her.
I love this quote. Glad you do too.

La Belette Rouge~ Thank you; the acronym ICM came to me only days after she died. I needed a phrase to describe the flood of them at that time. I love that you point out the similarity to Instant Message....fascinating because I don't think IMs were a part of our lives back in 2000 - were they?

Looking to the Stars~ The connection you feel with your father is very deep, as described in your blog. Your love for him is so profound and very touching.

Friko~ ICM is something I made up to describe these kinds of events see reply to Belette also. (Thank you to both of you for your wishes of compassion...)

Rhiannon said...

This is such a lovely thing that "feeling of touch" that awakened you while dosing off. I understand this feeling "touch" you speak of but in a different way maybe.

Going on the ending of the first year of my divorce I had finally managed to move out of "the house" and into a small cottage on the other side of town. The landlords were living in a big house near by but not too "close" if you know what I mean. I remember I was going through so much chaos of handling very important financial dealings with our house selling right after I moved out..and it was my ex's responsibility to handle setting the house up for sale, and when it sold we would split 50-50. I had great worries and concerns that knowing the way he had changed and his lack of being responsible for anything at that time, that I would not be able to trust him, and apparently I was right to feel that way and take charge. I knew something was going on. One of the title companies in town were waiting for me to get in touch with them, also they were trying to find me, as my ex came along there with his "other woman" he had left me for. He had the divorce decree stating that legally the sale of house would be 50-50. But he had told them that he had no clue where I lived what my address was, nor my phone number. All totally false statements, as he had all that info and both our attorneys too. I made sure of it. I got a call from a friend in town asking me if I knew that our house had sold about two weeks ago. I was terribly worried that my ex and his girlfriend were going to try to rip me off...and pretend they had no clue where I was. If the title company could not find me within a certain time frame than the total amount of the sale would be given to him in a check. He knew that and he tried (once again) to lie and deceive everyone. It was the weekend so I called all the title companies in the whole town and left messages explaining the situation and if any of them were connected with the situation to pleases "call me ASAP". My attorney was out of town in the Bahama's. I got into bed that night and of course tossed and turned and so afraid of my ex "once again" being a total selfish jerk, and I called on a higher power to make this work out okay. I finally went to sleep. I had a dream. I was lying in the very bed and bedroom I was lying in in real life, in my cottage, and in this dream I was asking for help and saying that I was so tired of "taking care of it B" mode all the time. In the dream I suddenly felt a prescence standing on the side of my bed. The prescence was so tall I could not look up to see a face,only knew they were in a long white robe. They pulled a chair over and sat down and I felt them put their big hand in mine and say "you are not alone don't be afraid and it will work out for you". I felt this hand in mine in such a real sense Lydia that it woke me up with a startle! I then laid back down and kept feeling and touching my hand remembering that "touch". Next thing I know I get an early morning call from one of the title companies with a woman asking me are you "B.R"? I said "yes I am"..she said "Thank God we found you, we knew your ex was lying and that he and his girlfriend were trying to get all the money for the house..it turned out great..I drove to the title company proved my ID who I was and got my check!

Dreams unwind...and sometimes they "find"...love rhi

Rhiannon said...

By the way the pic of the woman all in "misty white" in this post and your story of your mother, made me remember the dream I had..everything happens for a reason...in time and space..I believe something "touched" you in more ways than one..it's very special isn't it?

Lydia said...

Rhi~ I think your story is wondrous and you sure needed that "extra" help with your attorney away and all the shenanigans being played behind your back.
That's special that the pic and post joggled your memory of the dream so you could share it here. Seems like full circle to me!

francessa said...

Lydia, I have had a few quite similar experiences, always at meaningful times. These are precious gifts wherever they may come from.

Lydia said...

francessa~ That is good and interesting to know. Yes, they are precious and I would love to talk with you about them sometime.



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