cats eye by Keith Stanosz
The old stone bridge, another springtime,
gentle creek flows on in shadows and light:
Together reflecting an imperfect circle.
A solitary youth cycles along over cracks,
whistling another imperfect springsong.
:::
Written for Poetics — An Evening of Short Verse — at dVerse Poets, hosted this week by Fred Rutherford, aka Hobgoblin2011, whose prompt asks us to consider short verse and to even break rules as we write. I chose to try the Gogyohka (5-line) poetic form. Not sure if I broke any rules with my Gogyohka, but while working on the draft something in my Blogger formatting "broke" and I am now editing in some miniscule view (about the size I see on my tablet) that I cannot get out of.....arggggh.
.
12 comments:
smiles...i like the echo of imperfect....cool illusion of the circle as well...and putting that with the spring song also ties it to the cycle of the seasons for me as well...tightly packed little jewel lydia..
i tagged you in at dverse btw...
Flowing imperfection --- I can think of nothing more perfect!
New header on the blog -- it is fantastic!
perhaps the reflected circle & whistled springsong are less than perfect, but the poem gives me a perfect snapshot of a moment in time - love it!
Loved this phrase: "gentle creek flows on in shadows and light" It expresses so well what I see when I sit and watch water flow!
this is good. I really like it. I used to do gogyohka's a lot on twitter, nice to see one shared on Poetics. Very nicely done. thanks
as kids me and my brother and a friend used to vanish down to the local fields for hours on end, walking for miles - they've built a road across the middle of it now (to service a factory that has since been demolished - which rather sadly is likely to mean that the rest of the fields will now get houses built on them)
But just on the other side of the big road a small stone bridge still stands crossing a meandering river - from the size of it it's hard to know if it was intended for farmers or walkers - i walk past it most weeks with my friend and still think about those days
The view there is much like the one you describe with casual weekend ramblers and relaxed looking cows the only regular visitors
I hate it when Blogger suddenly shifts me into some annoying Twilight Zone of weird changes. I hope you can find how to remedy the situation.
Thanks for your comment on my Open Letter post. I hope your friend got something from it, too. I wasn't sure about writing that, whether it would mean anything to anyone but me. I'm glad to know that it did.
A feeling of peace and continuity here Lydia...despite the frazzles of its blogger birth-pangs. ;_)
One moment and a whole life in five lines. I really enjoyed your poem.
I loved this
and now
I want to read
more
of you
Lester~ I must say "likewise!" I am learning lots over at your blog.
The name of the form really does look like it would describe a Polish dish (that cracked me up!).
Brian~ Thank You for signing me in! I was pretty frazzled by the time I got to the pub to leave a comment and I totally spaced out on that formality. Your comment meant a lot to me, too.
Sabio~ I am thrilled you like the new header and that you enjoyed the shortie.
turtlememoir~ (Love your name) Many thanks for such a lovely comment.
Mary~ Yes, that is what is rather hypnotic about sitting beside a stream or river!
Fred~ Wonderful prompt; thank you! When I looked up the form last night I saw some examples done on Twitter. I don't use Twitter but I can see that this would be fun there.
Pixies~ How 'bout that...you know of such a place. The bridges over our area creeks are not that picturesque. But the "relaxed looking cows," yup we have those too.
Fireblossom~ Arrrgh continues regarding my blogger problem in edit mode. I'll go blind if I don't figure this out!
Oh, your poem went over in a bigbig way with my young fb friend. Remind me via email to tell you more about this connection and how your poem was so perfectly suited to his world. ♥
hedgewitch~ Ah those frazzles of the birthpangs were/are so confusing. It happened mid-way through the draft. I think I hit a button or something. Or I could blame it on the cat. ^.^
The Happy Amateur~ Your name makes me want to visit, and I will. Thank you for your comment.
Rastaman~ Thanks much. It was not lost on me that your comment was presented in five lines; bravo!
Hey I like this! good work! I stopped to read your Magpie- I think your 'replies' form is broke! Sorry!
Post a Comment