Phil Elverum image via: lush retina
Father said, “You’re growing,” and divided their bedroom with a wall.
Gone were the nights Mari’s songs soothed Lucas to sleep. Lights on,
he cried under covers.
She tucked her feet into the folds of an afghan and sat by her window
that night in the dark, singing softly to the moon, hoping Lucas heard.
MLydiaM ~ August 2011
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Check out the latest crop of weekly FF55s (works of fiction in 55 words)
at Mr. KnowItAll...the G-Man.
22 comments:
Ahhh . . . that's so sweet. 55 par ecellence!
So sad and still so full of hope.
Wow, so much feeling in so few words ... just beautifully written.
this is an endearing tale...you bring to life a common experience..
Great! on my way to do mine- thanks!
Lydia...
Week after week you capture the very essence of what Flash Fiction is supposed to be.
I wish more people would come here to take example.
Loved your 55
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
Such a delightful thought. You are very good at this 55 adventure!
Very sweet and touching to see a brother and sister take care of each other while they are so young. :)
Awww so loving. I hope he heard.
Lovely 55
This has such a poignant feel to it...very sweet.
Haunting, sad and lonely. Beautifully done!
Yours is the sweetest, kindest of the week. Well done!
lydia, OMG, this is awesome! every word perfect. it made me sad and even a little relieved because you brought me right to it.
xoxoxoxooxo
kj
Doctor FTSE~ Thank you...so glad you liked it!
francessa~ Kinda like life. :)
Deborah~ Such kind comments; many thanks. :)
Brian~ "Endearing"...wow, thank you Brian.
izzy~ Thanks! I am mass-replying to comments now and will be mass-reading in a bit. :)
G-Man~ Gee. Man, that was nice of you to say. Thank you for being such an encouraging host and coach. :)
Rob-bear~ It is a fun adventure, most definitely! Maybe Bear will take a run at it before hibernation?
Nara Malone~ When I was a little girl I wished to know the brothers who my father had before he was with my mother. I think part of this stemmed from those feelings.
Daydreamertoo~ I hope so too, if not that night then another. Thank you for visiting and commenting.
mythopolis~ "Poignant"...one of my favorite words. :)
Pheromone Girl~ It really is lonely. I think childhood is a lonely place for many. Now, I am anxious to visit your blog as you have one of the best monikers around!
hope~ "kindest, sweetest"...that makes me feel really good inside. Thank you.
Mama Zen~ Yes. I think kids have a lot of sadness while growing. Happiness, too, but I think they understand the sadness.
kj~ Your comment was awesome and the string of kisses, too! Thanks. :) xxxooo
*sigh*
So sweet and sad, my friend.
To be able to capture so much emotion in so few words is a rare talent. I can see the divided room and feel the anguish of the separated children. You do paint vivid pictures so cleverly.
I don't think my comment was posted so I will try again.
Lydia, you have a rare talent. You were able to capture so much emotion and paint the setting so cleverly with very few words.
To do this in a few sentences is truly remarkable. Kudos.
well done.
bless your weekend.
I love this that you wrote Lydia..and the picture is well it just gets to me in such a way.
I know I've not been around for a while. Life's been very busy for me for quite some time. We finally got my sister living on "my 3rd floor" just a few doors down from me in last two weeks. She's doing good.
I wanted to drop by and say "Hi" and I know that you've been down (I have some also but no one would know it I keep it "close")and anyway I just posted a video song and for some reason I thought of you and that it might make you feel a bit more "positive" about this crazy world we live in.
Hope you'll drop by my Dreamweaver blog and check the video song out.
Love and Blessings,
Barbara
Fireblossom~ Great to see you, friend. :)
Darlene~ Oh, your comments made me very happy. Thank you so much.
Morning~ Many thanks. Bless yours too!
Rhi~ I have thought of you many times and am glad to hear from you. It is wonderful that your sis lives there in your building now!
I will be by to see the video you posted. Thanks for thinking of me. ^.^
Another of your beautiful word images. Your writing is always impressive.
susan~ Your flattering comment made me smile. :)
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